Embracing the Fantastic
by Sonowa
Summary: Nodoka Miyazaki and Negi Springfield discuss their futures and themselves. Set slightly before the events of 169th Period (the first from Volume 19 of the manga).


It was unexpected enough to see anyone on the campus of Mahora Academy the first day of summer break. After the chaos that was the school festival and the stress of end-of-semester exams, one would likely expect the student body to be visiting shopping districts or enjoying the comfort of an air-conditioned room than sit outside in temperate conditions.

It was even more unexpected to see someone huddling close to the World Tree, for fear of any excess magic from its most recent usage in the (thankfully failed) plan of Chao Lingshen. While the outskirts of the tree were no longer monitored by security forces or snipers hellbent on keeping would-be lovers at bay, the safe assumption would be to stay away from anywhere that could potentially end with a tranquilizing bullet to the head.

And yet there sat Nodoka Miyazaki, at the dawn of her vacation, eyes closed in a serene form of semi-meditation. She had never truly appreciated the morning breeze that passed through campus between rushing to get to class and her dedicated work at the library, though she hadn't been able to enjoy any time alone in what seemed like months. Between a surprising influx of members to the Library Exploration Club, working with the rest of 3-A on their successful horror house, and the near-ceaseless teasing of one Haruna Saotome, Nodoka's day-to-day life had spiraled far beyond what she was used to.

Perhaps it was that same series of events that led her there, a conflict of nostalgia and fear mixed with the simplicity that came from some time spent by herself. Of course, had one asked her if she'd rather spend it with someone else, one individual would spring to mind immediately, but she didn't want to ask too much of her respite.

A happy coincidence, though, would be more than welcome.

"Is that you, Nodoka-san?"

Nodoka's eyes fluttered open as she turned to see her English teacher, Negi Springfield, approaching her.

"N... Negi-sensei! I, uh... that is... what are you doing here?" Nodoka stuttered, a faint shade of red covering her face.

"I usually pass the World Tree during my morning training," Negi explained. "I'm more curious about what you're doing here, Nodoka-san."

"Just... some thinking," she replied. "Did you, er... did you want to join me?"

Negi gave a warm smile. "I'd like that a lot. I need a bit of a rest, anyways."

The ten-year-old sat himself down a little too close to Nodoka, forcing a deeper blush from the flustered girl. Neither of them spoke for a brief moment, with only the wind and a few distant insects occupying the otherwise silent atmosphere.

Much to her own surprise, it was Nodoka who would break that silence.

"Negi-sensei... I would like to ask you a question."

Negi turned to face his student, his cheeks flushed from either exhaustion or embarrassment; Nodoka couldn't tell. "Feel free to ask me anything you'd like, Nodoka-san."

"It's..." Nodoka interrupted herself. "It's a lot. And I've been thinking about it for a while, but at the same time I'm still a little worried about, uh..."

Negi shook his head gently. "If it's something that would bother me, Nodoka-san, I'd tell you."

Nodoka nodded, and cleared her throat.

"Negi-sensei... do you think that reality ever stops changing?"

She didn't expect an immediate answer, and wasn't given one in turn.

"Let me try and explain what I mean a little better, Negi-sensei. It's... well, since I've met you, and Yue and Haruna and Asuna-san and everyone else met you, our worlds have changed. What we used to think was just something that could only be seen in a storybook or a manga is not only real, but tangible. _Magic_ is real, and I can use it, and... and you can use it, and Yue, and the others. Even after all that we've been through I still can't believe it's happening sometimes.

"So now everything I've read, everything I thought was fiction, I now have to consider to be at least potentially possible in the real world. Magic, dragons, time travel... I've seen those happen before. I can now say they exist, right?"

Negi nodded, though he was still uncertain about what the teenager was trying to convey.

"Negi-sensei... if all of that can be real... what about things that seemed to be more possible, but were still fictional?"

This captured the teacher's attention. "How do you mean by more possible, Nodoka-san?"

Nodoka's expression turned solemn, yet her blush intensified even further.

"When I was a little girl... and even now... I found a lot of comfort in being able to live happily ever after. Everyone got what they wanted, or lived with who they wanted. And I know that part of growing up is having to accept that that isn't how life works. And yet..."

Her attempt at collecting herself failed miserably.

"I don't want to give that up anymore, Negi-sensei! I don't want to live a life where I have to move on from my dream of... of being able to love you, and be loved by you, and I know that's wrong because there are so many others who want that same thing but I just can't help it! The... the thought of seeing you marrying someone else, or going away without ever returning, or anything like that, it just makes me want to curl up and die!

"I know that it's selfish, I know that it's rushing in too fast, and I know I don't deserve any of that, Negi-sensei, but... but I want it to be real. More than anything else."

Nodoka's words broke down into long, painful tears, the kind that she had been no doubt been keeping pent up inside her for several weeks at the very least. Her sobs were loud, echoing through the vacant campus, yet Nodoka herself had never felt quite as small as she had before.

Her tears only worsened when Negi tightly embraced Nodoka, letting her muffled weeping dampen his already sweaty training clothes. He closed his eyes out of respect more than anything, knowing that this, too, was the duty of both an English gentleman and a teacher at the academy.

So once again the two sat under the World Tree, captured in a moment where words would accomplish nothing. Her outpour of emotions settled after three minutes that felt to her like thirty, and she gratefully accepted the handkerchief Negi offered her.

"I think... that I have a response, Nodoka-san," he said as she wiped away the last few tears from her reddened eyes.

"I know that I'm not perfect when I speak about matters such as these, but... I feel like I understand that pain. Not yours exactly, of course, but something similar. A goal that is unachievable at first glance, but one you want to chase nonetheless... a goal that may make other people unhappy along the way. And sometimes it's for the best to chase that goal, but sometimes we have to stop ourselves and consider our other options.

"Nodoka-san, your goal is... well, it's something I can't immediately grant, but I think we both know that," Negi spoke with a hint of self-frustration. "I cannot tell you what can or will happen regarding it, but I can tell you that your goal is... inspiring, in a way."

Nodoka glanced up at the object of her affections.

"If I can be honest, Nodoka-san... you're not the only one who has been having selfish thoughts."

Reaching into his pocket, Negi pulled out the Pactio cards he had gathered and began to shuffle through them.

"What Chao-san told me... about how whomever I ask to become my partner, to become a Magister Magi alongside me, would be like asking who I would marry... I've been wondering if there's any truth to that. And if there is..."

Negi stopped his shuffling at the card he was looking for, and set it gently down on the grass.

Nodoka Miyazaki. _Pudica Bibliothecaria_.

"I couldn't ask for you to join me. You, Yue-san, Chisame-san, Haruna-san... none of you. Not when I'd be putting you into such potential danger without your being able to sufficiently protect yourself. If I were to be forced to watch you die because of my own negligence... I don't even want to imagine it.

"I know that I care for you deeply, Nodoka-san. So much so that I'd do something as cruel as refuse to consider you for something like this."

Nodoka listened intently to every word from her teacher, just as if he were giving a lecture in class. With a small nod, she looked up.

"Negi-sensei... I'm going to become stronger, and so will everyone else. I know it'll take a lot of time, and a lot of hard work, but it'll show you... and show myself... just how much I'm really capable of.

"And I know that when the time comes for both of us to make those important decisions, regardless of whatever happens I know we will be able to do so without any regrets."

Negi smiled. "I'm happy to see you won't give up on your goal, Nodoka-san, just like I won't give up on mine. Let's both do our best to reach them, okay?"

Nodoka returned the smile, before asking a second question from her instructor.

"Negi-sensei... may I take one more step towards that goal?"

Negi froze for a second, before nodding yes. She blushed, and moved closer to the young man she loved.

And they kissed, not with the bombast of a festival behind them, but the quiet realization of reality changing ever so slightly for the better.

* * *

**Author's Note: Permit me to write a bit about Negima! and my thoughts on the series/its characters a little bit here. If you don't care about that, thank you for reading this story regardless.**

**Nodoka is one of four romantic partners for Negi I would be happy with, alongside Chisame, Ako, and Chachamaru; I've only read up to Volume 30 as of writing this, so I could develop a stronger sentimentality for someone else, but I have my doubts. The reason these four stick out, aside from being cute/having some memorable moments, is that all four characters change over the course of the story in noticeable ways.**

**Nodoka achieves a greater sense of bravery and is no longer afraid of interacting with men, as shown with her friendship with the likes of Craig. Chisame allows herself to be consumed in a world she's unfamiliar with and offers (in my mind, at least) a stronger counter to Negi's somewhat self-questioning personality. Ako and Chachamaru don't make quite as much of an impact, but the acknowledgement of one's place in life as explored by both are memorable in their own right.**

**As someone who personally struggles with making changes, it's no surprise that these four stuck out to me as much as they did, and regardless of how the story actually ends I'm happy that there were at least hints of these moments sprinkled throughout the series. There seemed to still be a sense of incompleteness between Negi and Nodoka, however, and even if this doesn't resolve everything completely, it still makes me feel a bit more comfortable. Passion projects are weird, aren't they?**


End file.
